You're My Home
by teh liz
Summary: [Journey] The night after the decision was made to get a divorce is the longest of Courtney's life.


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Disclaimer: _I am not affiliated with any writers of General Hospital, ABC television, Alicia Leigh-Willis, or Steven Burton in anyway. The song belongs to the demi-god known as Billy Joel. This was written for my own entertainment and no copyright infringement is intended on my part. No money is being made._

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Author's Note: _Takes place after the December 17, 2003 episode of General Hospital when Courtney and Jason decided to get the d-word. I can't even say it I'm so distraught. This was written awhile ago, obviously, but I think the sentiment remains._

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When you look into my eyes  
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul  
It always comes as a surprise  
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow  
Well, I never had a place that I could call my very own  
But that's alright my love,  
'Cause your my home.  


Courtney didn't know how long she leaned against the door before sliding down to the floor to sit on her heels and finally on the ground. Her tears eventually ceased and transformed to shaky, shallow breaths. She felt ill, her head spinning. She and Jason were getting a divorce.

Divorce. 

Divorce.

What an ugly word, she thought idly as she struggled up from the floor, half-heartedly dusting herself off. It was late, she knew that, partly because it was dark outside and obviously had been for awhile, and there was no noise coming from downstairs, indicating that everyone was probably gone for the night. That, and she was tired. Although, she realized, her exhaustion wasn't physical. She was emotionally drained, felt like her heart had been turned inside out. 

Wiping her eyes, she slipped her shoes off and took off all of her jewelry as she prepared to climb into bed, hesitating over her wedding band. No, she decided. Whether she and Jason were married on paper or not, she felt like they would always have a marriage of the hearts.

Not even bothering to change out of the clothes that she had worn that day, she climbed under the quilts and turned off the light. She shut her eyes and tried to sleep, but the day's events still bombarded her and assaulted her memory_. Well, he's giving you money, so it wasn't a total loss, _said a voice inside of her that sounded a bit like her mother. _You could get out of this place, or even better, get a real job._

"STOP IT!" she yelled out loud, the silence now pressing in on her. To avoid it, she threw the quilt over her head and squeezed her eyes shut. 

  
_When you touch my weary head  
And you tell me ev'rything will be alright  
You say use my body for your bed  
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night  
Well, I'll never be a stranger  
And I'll never be alone  
Where ever we're together that's my home._

Being in the absolute dark and nothing but her thoughts for company, unpleasant as they were, she turned on happier memories. Most involving Jason… well, all right, _all_ involving Jason. A kiss in the rain, standing in the bathroom on a winter's morning and shaving him with playful smiles on their faces, the wedding vows to the empty church, a sensual massage on the island. _He's stood by you through so much…_

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I'm such a chicken. I said I could handle the life he leads, I made the wedding vows, and I balked. She sighed, a stray tear escaping from one eye, and she quickly wiped it away before it had a chance to hit the pillow. They'd been through hell and back and probably again twice over, and after two months of marriage it just ends? 

Courtney didn't think she'd ever felt so empty. 

To drown out the conflicting thoughts of wanting to run back to Jason where she could be happy and stay where she could be in good conscience, she hummed a nonsensical melody. If she imagined hard enough, she could feel Jason's warm, strong body behind her, and his arms around her. Almost.

  
_Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike  
Indiana early morning dew  
High up in the hills of California  
Home is just another word for you._

Jason had asked her to come home. He's all but gotten down on his knees and begged, but he hadn't had to. His eyes did all the begging. Courtney could still see them in her head, glistening with tears that he probably wouldn't shed, saying words that he couldn't say. It broke her heart to say no, but it broker her heart to watch Jason stand aside while her brother went to commit a murder. 

Oh, Jason, I don't have a home to go to, I just have you, she said to herself.

Maybe that's all she ever needed. 

  
_If I traveled all my life  
And I never get to stop and settle down  
Long as I have you by my side  
There's a roof above and good walls all around  
You're my castle, you're my cabin and my instant pleasure dome  
I need you in my house 'cause you're my home._


End file.
